Not Listening or Not Understanding?
Strategies for Successful Communication
Imagine yourself on the beach enjoying a peaceful vacation in a foreign country where you have only a vague understanding of the language. A friendly face approaches and says something to you, but you don’t understand. She repeats it again a little louder with her face now a little less friendly. Another person arrives and says the same words impatiently, but you still do not understand. The two people add new words and speak quickly now. You can’t process what is being said. They look displeased and whatever they are saying seems urgent. How do you feel?
This is an example of the confusion that a young child or person with learning challenges may feel when being verbally over-prompted.
Over-prompting can be easily avoided when you consider the following strategies for more effective communication.
| prompt verb \ ˈpräm(p)t \ Prompted; prompting; prompts Definition of prompt (Entry 1 of 4) Transitive verb 1: to move to action: INCITE 2: to assist (one acting or reciting) by suggesting or saying the next words of something forgotten or imperfectly learned: CUE |
Proximity
Calling out, “Joey, come to the kitchen,” when Joey is on the other side of the house, may be an acceptable prompt for typically developing children or teens, but for children or adults with learning challenges, this verbal prompt may be difficult to understand and can be easily ignored. For best results, approach the child, get his or her attention, make eye contact, squat down to their level, then deliver the prompt.
I have seen many instances of parents following up the aforementioned request by continuing to yell from across the house. Inevitably, parents become more frustrated over time when they do not get a response. In this scenario, when Joey finally enters the kitchen, his parents are clearly annoyed and he doesn’t understand why. This is because the prompt, “come to the kitchen,” was either never received by Joey or he was not able to processes that command in a meaningful way. In the future, Joey’s parents can avoid frustration if they simply take a moment to get close to him and deliver the verbal cue in a way that he understands. While delivering the cue face to face can be cumbersome, taking the time to address proximity can improve a child’s understanding of verbal prompts over time. Closing the distance between you and the child when giving a directive is also helpful, especially in times when the child may require further gesturing or physical prompting to help complete the task.
Minimize Words and Steps
Children usually have an easier time processing commands when words and steps are kept to a minimum. An example of a wordy, multi-step, less effective prompt would be: “Get the blue Lego, it’s next to the two yellow ones under the table. Don’t bump you head. Bring it here. We are going to make a castle.”
If you are not mindful, a prompt can sound like a lecture or stream of consciousness. The child can become confused by a variety of statements delivered rapidly and forget the initial directive which was just, “Get the blue Lego.”
A better prompt would be to say, “Get the blue Lego,” while pointing under the table. Become silent while the child retrieves the blue Lego. This gives the child a chance to process and comply with the directive. Then, deliver a follow up such as, “Good job! Bring it here!” Minimizing your words and keeping your directives concise brings more value to your words. Delivering a barrage of words can be overwhelming for some children and they may begin to tune you out as a coping mechanism, and you might begin to sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher.
Pair Verbal Prompts With Gestures
Years ago I read about the Total Communication Theory (TC). Although it was designed with hearing impaired or deaf students in mind, I decided to incorporate some aspects of TC into teaching my multiple disabilities class.
Total Communication (TC) is philosophy of educating children with hearing loss that incorporates all means of communication; formal signs, natural gestures, finger-spelling, body language, listening, lipreading and speech. Children in TC programs typically wear hearing aids or cochlear implants.
I have found it helpful to pair words and gestures or simple sign language with any child who has communication or processing delays. The visual cues spark recognition and recall in early learners. When I was teaching I would consistently pair certain words with signs. Two of them were “sit” and “come here.”
I found that when used consistently in the classroom, my K-2 students would process my message more quickly. This resulted in their increased compliance with commands. A child’s ability to understand what is being communicated will often result in better behavior, less frustration, self-confidence, and improved social skills.
*I borrowed the above images from babysignlanguage.com. This is a great place to learn more about sign language.
Prompt Dependence and Prompt Fading
There are times when verbal prompting needs to be monitored because children and adults with developmental disabilities like autism can become prompt dependent. Prompt dependency happens when a child continues to rely on prompting from his/her teacher or care giver even with tasks that have been mastered independently. I have worked with children who have extreme prompt dependency issues. For example, one kindergartner would hold a spoonful of food up to her mouth and wait for the teacher or therapist to say “eat” before eating. Most typically developing children are not prone to prompt dependency, but when you do see it begin to happen, you must modify the methods of prompting immediately. It is much easier to address prompt dependency in its early stages than to allow harmful habits to form.
The best way to avoid prompt dependency is to consistently prompt fade. Prompt fading is using the least intrusive prompt necessary to achieve the desired outcome. For the purposes of addressing prompt fading in this article, I recommend that you focus on three main areas of prompting: verbal prompting followed by physical, then gestural prompting.
| least invasive prompt | ➞➞➞➞➞➞➞➞➞➞ | most invasive prompt |
| verbal or talking | gestural or pointing | physical or touching |
Here is an example of prompt fading while teaching your child to put his/her toys away. First, deliver the verbal prompt, “Clean up the toys.” Next, move closer and cue the child by handing them a toy to put away or by remaining silent and giving a gentle touch on the shoulder, elbow, or hand to trigger cleaning. Finally, point to each toy until all are put away. When you are attempting to fade the verbal prompting, it is important that you are not narrating the clean up, but only using gentle touches or gestures. Minimal verbal reminders and praise can also be used to hint at what must be done next.
Prompt fading is good practice in general, but it also teaches children problem solving, confidence, and independence. When you notice that a child is becoming prompt dependent and looking to the adult in the room for permission or instructions on the simplest activities, it is a good time to consider fading the prompts. Simply ask questions like, “What should we do next?’ or “How can we fix this?” before jumping in and taking over. Allowing children to make choices, express their thoughts and problem solve whenever possible will help guide them toward greater independence.
There is no right or wrong way to communicate with your child, but consistently closing your proximity, keeping your words concise, utilizing gestures, and knowing when to fade prompts while delivering instructions are good habits to embrace. Meaningful communication encourages independence and can ensure better outcomes for your child and the whole family.
Let’s imagine again that you are on the beach enjoying a peaceful vacation in a foreign country where you have only a vague understanding of the language. A friendly face approaches and says something to you, but you do not understand. The person calmly moves closer, makes eye contact and repeats only one word of the phrase that they said prior and it begins to sound familiar. The person points to a black cloud drifting across the sky and makes gestures for rain falling. You begin to understand that rain is coming and they are advising you to go inside before you and your beach items get soaked. Now how do you feel?
Thanks for reading!
Win @ Parenting 